Beryl

questions

2009-12-20T04:59:19Z

I'm playing a questions game via zhaneel69:

1) What type of reactions are you playing with right now?

Well, the last reaction I did involved a flavin and acetic acid or sodium bicarbonate. Yes, you read that right. I made a cabbage pH indicator and tested it with vinegar and baking soda.

I left the lab about a year ago and am working at a local children's museum 12-15 hours a week. Unfortunately, chemistry for very young children requires staff or volunteer help, and we just don't have those resources on a regular basis. The Science Coordinator and I have been talking about revamping the science room, though. Maybe next year we can make some progress towards that goal.

2) Have you experienced the same gender glass ceiling that I encountered when I was working in Chemistry or is it rarer than I believe?

Hmm. Not that I noticed, but I'm often pretty oblivious to social and political maneuverings.

In grad school there was a decent sprinkling of women in our group, and they didn't seem to be treated differently.

When I was a working chemist, there weren't very many women in the R&D department, but I attributed that to most of the employees there being of an older generation. Just before I left, one of my female peers was promoted to a group leader position. One of the R&D directors in our division was a woman. There weren't really any women above her; I don't know if that was a "glass ceiling" issue or not as I never spoke to her about it.

What I've seen is not so much limitations if one is female, but limitations if one has family commitments. I met three women in manager/director type positions. Two did not have children. The third had one child and a stay-at-home spouse. My take home lesson from the "real world" was if you really want to get ahead, don't have children.

3) Is Istvan still working insanely late nights?

Not at the moment. There's been a pretty big shake-up on the project in the last month, so everyone's sticking to 40 hour weeks until the dust settles. After that, who knows.

4) What race do you think you'll be when JGE comes out?

I love hunting 'roids. Quantar's in my blood. ;-) That said, I probably won't play JGE when it comes out. Computer games are so far down at the bottom of my list these days there's no point in wasting money on MMORPG subscription fees.

5) Share a story of your Bean? I love them muchly.

Hasn't anyone told you it's dangerous to ask a mother about her children? They'll go on for hours! But since you asked, I have something to share.

First, some background information:

1. The Bean is a typical little boy in several ways - cars and trucks are his favorite things. Construction trucks, fire trucks, and police cars are especially neat.

2. Istvan generally reads the Bean's bedtime stories. Istvan got tired of Dr. Seuss and other such children's books, so he pulled out such classics as "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" and "The Hobbit". Bean doesn't fully comprehend the stories, but he loves listening to his daddy read them.

One day last summer while riding in the car, we saw a police car driving on the road ahead of us, which prompted the following conversation.

Bean: I wish I could buy a police car.

Mommy: A real police car or a toy police car?

Bean: A real police car.

Mommy: Nobody can buy a police car.

Bean: Why not?

Mommy: It's illegal. You have to be a policeman to buy a police car.

Bean: Oh. Maybe I can grow up to be a policeman after I grow up to be a dwarf.

Anyone interested can play the game as follows:
* Leave me a comment saying "One, two, many, lots."
* I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity.
* Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
* Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

presents

2009-12-18T15:08:11Z

The spouse gave me lots of jewelry for our anniversary. I teased that he wasn't allowed to complain about being broke if he was going to give gifts like that. He said,

"I had a budget. And I only spent slightly more than twice that."

I guess we can't be *that* broke, because I just grinned.

beryllia @ 2009-11-14T20:15:00

2009-11-15T03:15:11Z

The little boy wanted to wrestle. I almost sent him to his Daddy, but then decided he needed examples that women could fight too. Wish I'd kept up on my soft-style martial arts, though. A flailing kick landed on my nose, and he's only three. I'd better get my act together before he's ten!

the surprise of pretty clothes

2009-03-23T18:50:12Z

I stopped dressing nicely on a daily basis in grad school. There's no point, when you're in the lab where chemical spills may happen and no one cares what you look anyway. Outside the lab, my non-chemist friends wore T-shirts when we met, and if I dressed up, even a little, I felt so out of place that I stopped doing it.

Once in the male-predominant professional world, I wanted to be taken seriously in my job, not dismissed as the pretty girl. So I mostly stuck to conservative, boring, comfortable button down shirts and jeans. Besides, if a spill missed the lab coat and stained the shirt, I wouldn't fret about ruining a favorite sweater.

Now, not only am I not in the lab anymore, I'm actually interacting with the public. So I've dug through my closet for the nice sweaters and the pretty tops. The funny thing is, I feel better. I want more. Now, even when I'm just home all day, the sweatshirts and tennis shoes are distasteful. I want to look nice. Deliberately. For me.

I'd no idea pretty clothes made that much difference to me.

quote of the day

2009-03-19T02:46:39Z

"My grandmother died last year. By the end, she could not remember all the reasons that she had been angry with people and she was finally happy."

Mylisa Larsen
"Size Zero"
Brain, Child
spring 2009

they just don't like me

2009-02-24T21:23:01Z

Number of times I've gotten notice in the mail that I may be required to show for jury duty: 2.

Number of times I've actually had to show up to the courthouse: 2.

Number of times I've been selected as a potential member of the jury: 2.

Number of times one of the attorneys has dismissed me during the voir dire: 2.

I don't *try* to get thrown out. I guess they just don't like me.

funny good feeling

2009-02-22T03:42:50Z

After briefly mentioning an email I'd written earlier in the day, the spouse looked at me with an amused, loving smile and said,

"That's my wife. Give her a compliment, and two weeks later she's asking you for an analysis of it. I've seen that behavior since college."

Slightly embarrassed, warm fuzzy feeling.
Ah, well. At least he finds it an amusing quirk, not an annoying one.

sexism comes early

2009-02-03T03:37:11Z

My little boy wanted Mommy to play Disney/Pixar Cars with him. I picked up Ramone, and was told forcefully, "No! You can't play with Ramone! He's a boy car! You should only play with girl cars! You can play with Sally!"

Mommy was not happy about this. After a heartbeat or three, I told him that he had to share all his toys, and telling me I couldn't play with the boy cars was not nice and not fair. He relented only after I walked away and wouldn't play with him at all if I couldn't play with the boy cars.

I can't decide if my response was a useful lesson, or merely as childish as the three-year-old he is.

side benefits

2009-01-16T22:28:07Z

One of the side benefits of the new job is I'm getting more sleep. One of the side benefits of getting more sleep is I don't get cravings for ice cream in the evenings quite so often.

I'm hoping that a side benefit of less ice cream is maybe I'll drop that last five pounds of baby weight that never went away.

One can hope, anyway.

trash

2009-01-01T23:55:49Z

The article about the man who saved his trash for a year didn't inspire me to save trash, but did make me think briefly about the trash I do generate. My trash addiction? Paper towels. For cleanups, I love to grab a clean paper towel to swipe up the mess and just toss it in the trash when I'm done. I do keep some rags and sponges, but I'd so much rather use a paper towel. I know it's clean, and I know I don't have to decide whether to wash and re-use it afterwards.

managing anger

2008-12-29T03:55:54Z

About six months ago I had quite a fight with my mother-in-law. We "made up" afterward, but it must not have been much of a make-up, because I am still very, very angry about it. I think, in part, it's because although she apologized, it's clear the apology wasn't very sincere.

I don't like to harbor anger, but I can't seem to get past this. I don't really want to see this woman again, yet I should do so. The only way I know to get over it is to talk about it again, but I don't think talking about it again will actually give a different result to allow me to get over it.

How can I put this behind me?

important safety tip

2008-12-16T04:47:24Z

Don't change jobs in December, at least not if your old job had benefits. Trying to sort through what should or should not be done with 401k accounts and insurance and such is rather obnoxious when what I'm really trying to focus on is holiday preparations and enjoyment.

politics and morals

2008-12-11T04:40:23Z

A lovely essay on politics and morals. It begins:

"Dear Republican and Pro-Life Friends,
Thanks for the spittle-flecked emails as well as for the polite queries. Yes, I am aware Obama is pro-choice. Yes, I'm still pro-life. I also believe that with Obama in the White House that there will be less abortions in America than with the Republicans in power."

Find the whole essay here.

note: I am well aware there are generalizations and over-simplifications in this piece. That does not mean it is not worth reading and considering.

Candy!

2008-12-11T03:53:26Z

When rightkindofme asked about Christmas traditions, I forgot one of the most important.

Making Candy!

Mom and I have been making Christmas candy together since I was in elementary school. (That's on the order of thirty years for those who are counting.) My sister-in-law has been happy to join us ever since she became engaged to be my sister-in-law. Candy making was today, and this year the run down was:

cappuccino caramels
raspberry marshmallows
almond brittle
toffee
double chocolate peanut butter bark
peppermint bark
peanut butter truffles
haystacks
dipped pretzels
turtle pretzels

Mmmmmm!

deep breath

2008-11-22T04:28:11Z

I just accepted a new job. Fewer hours, much worse pay than my current job. One hell of a better commute. I'm looking forward to more sleep, more time with the spouse, and hopefully a little more fun.

I hope this isn't a huge mistake.

my son, the gentleman

2008-11-14T20:58:00Z

I was doing the suburban mommy thing and watching my little boy play in the mall play area after doing a little shopping and lunch. He had climbed to the top of a platform and was waiting his turn to go down the slide when a little girl climbing up behind him reached out her hand. He turned around, grabbed her hand, and helped pull her up. He later told me she was saying, "Help, help."

Not bad for a kid not even three.

Amendment 48

2008-11-05T14:20:11Z

Amendment 48 was soundly defeated.

Thank you, Colorado.

Thank you.

might as well make the political statement

2008-11-04T14:44:20Z

Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by those who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

lightweight

2008-11-02T03:04:17Z

I don't normally drink. But tonight at Namiko's I had their "Geisha" - plum wine, sake, a bit of mandarin orange, and a hint of ginger. Mmmmm. I could have spent the evening just inhaling the aroma. It's a good thing I had dinner too though, because I did do more than inhale. And remember that whole "I don't normally drink" bit? Yeah. Lightweight. One drink and even with a full belly and I'm happy warm fuzzy.

Mmmm.

Colorado's Amendment 48

2008-09-24T14:31:21Z

On Colorado's ballot this November:

'Shall there be an amendment to the Colorado constitution defining the term “person” to include any human being from the moment of fertilization as “person” is used in those provisions of the Colorado constitution relating to inalienable rights, equality of justice, and due process of law?'

This scares the hell out of me.

What happens to a woman with an ectopic pregnancy? Is her physician prevented from "killing the person" of the embryo when it is small and easily removed by drugs or simple surgery? Does the physician have to wait until it grows large enough to burst the fallopian tubes and cause massive bleeding, emergency surgery, and threatens the mother's life before it's considered dead in its own right and therefore removable? Even if the embryo "person" was declared "terminally ill" since it cannot survive in the fallopian tube, Colorado has no Right to Die law that would allow a physician to assist its death.

what happens to the women who are diagnosed with cancer at the same time they are diagnosed as pregnant? Will they be forced to delay cancer treatment until the child is born, de facto sacrificing their own life, leaving the new babe and their other children motherless? Would they be able to abort the child by applying the "Make My Day" law that Colorado has on the books because they felt their life was threatened? Would a physician be legally able to assist or would they be forced to resort to coat hanger methods?

What happens to the mother who is physically, economically, or mentally unable or unwilling to care for herself during pregnancy? The state can take a child from an unfit mother for fostering or adoption. It cannot take a fetus. Would the state take care of the woman? How? If she refused, would they lock her up in prison or an institution to force her compliance?

What happens to the woman who takes legally prescribed drugs that are harmful to an embryo, not even realizing that she's pregnant? Will she be arrested and charged with child abuse? What about the woman who simply fails to take folic acid or other vitamin supplements out of ignorance or economic factors? Will she be arrested for neglect?

Please, Colorado. In your haste to give rights to the fertilized egg, do not trample the rights of the woman who must be a vessel for that fertilized egg. She is a person too.

Please, Colorado, please vote No on Amendment 48.

public pregnancy

2008-09-03T13:19:40Z

Social conservatives are saying Palin's daughter's plan to keep the baby and marry the father are consistent with Palin's beliefs.

I'd be slightly more impressed if I knew the plan was consistent with the daughter's beliefs rather than the mother's.

I'd be more impressed if the announcement was that the baby would be given up for adoption.

I'd be really impressed if Palin announced the situation has caused her to realize "abstinence only" sex education doesn't work.

I guess I'm destined to be unimpressed.

maybe getting ahead

2008-08-25T16:34:10Z

I opted for the 15 min work massage again, and this time asked for my lower back. The neck/shoulders are still OK and the back is better.

Now my hips/thighs ache.

Maybe the third time will be the charm.

not getting ahead

2008-08-12T13:20:22Z

I took advantage of a perk at work and got a 15 min neck & shoulder massage.

Now my lower back hurts.

bike to work day

2008-06-25T15:56:18Z

Today is Bike to Work Day in my area. I won't be biking to work, though, and neither will my spouse. I suspect our reasons for not doing so are much like most Americans', and the first and foremost of those reasons is TIME.

On a good day, it takes three times longer by bike than by car. Even with a short commute that changes a 10 minute drive into a 30 minute bike ride. Multiply that by twice a day and there's 40 minutes of time you're adding to your day. If that's your exercise time for the day, great. But if that's your dinner prep time, or your time with the kids, or the only chance you have to run errands, you're not going to give that up just to be green or save gas.

Which suggests there's something wrong. It amazes me that it can be so hard to find 40 minutes a day.

taskmaster

2008-06-01T02:44:29Z

I'd been told that a two-year-old would be demanding, but somehow "Mommy, mow the lawn!" and "Mommy, vacuum!" were not quite what I expected!

Oh well, at least the carpets are cleaner and the lawn is trimmed.